Cognitive Techniques For Anger Management–Part I

Cognitive Techniques For Anger Management–Part I
Here’s some cognitive techniques for anger management.
Reduce your expectations by choice. Expect less
and enjoy more. This is a decision, not a reaction.
You are not turning off your reactivity, just changing
how many reactions you need or want, and what makes you
happier or not when you do. You have control over this,
even if you are not used to thinking this way. Try it,
and then practice. For example, try to not be so attached
to what you think is right or wrong. While there are
exceptions (traffic laws), most things in your life are
not life and death, so you don’t need to over-react.
Practice under-reaction to get the hang of non-attachment.
Again, this is not, not reacting (detachment). It is
channeling the reactions you have to frustrations through
your “programming,” which you are now consciously altering.
One popular version of this is what I call “The Five Year
Rule.” This states that if you are not going to remember
something in five years, don’t get so bothered by it now.
Put another way, ask yourself what you remember five years
ago from today. Most of us come up blank.
Drop perfectionism. “Things” are not perfect down here
on planet earth. Accept this and stop trying to make it
otherwise. I have what I call the “Rule of Two or Three.”
This rule states that for every two or three things you
attempt, it will take two or three tries to accomplish (to get
things the way you want it to turn out…). In other words,
only one in three times “things” will go your way the first time.
The world is imperfect. Roll with the punches.
Don’t take things personally. The world is not about
you. Think about what footprint you have on this planet.
With only a few rare exceptions, it’s very, very small.
When something happens in your life, is it aimed specifically
at you? It is much more likely you just happened to be in his or
her orbit. You got the brunt of something they did, but again,
it probably wasn’t about you, personally. A common example of
this is being cut off on the freeway. Did the other driver cut
you off, meaning you _________________ (fill in your name),
driving right next to or in back of them? Do they know you?
No. They were acting in their own best interest, possibly
selfishly, but definitely considering their needs more than yours.
To the other driver, you were probably not even a person; rather,
just a moving obstacle. Because we are in cars, we often
feel insulated from other humans driving in other big moving
insulators. Our personal psychology is to think we are not
involved with others so much because our personal space is
enclosed, and if we offend them, so what. Most of us think
we will never encounter that driver again, so our driving
behaviors are inconsequential.

-Dr. Griggs

http://www.psychologyproductsandservices.com/page17.html
Cognitive Techniques For Anger Management–Part I
Here’s some cognitive techniques for anger management.
Reduce your expectations by choice. Expect less
and enjoy more. This is a decision, not a reaction.
You are not turning off your reactivity, just changing
how many reactions you need or want, and what makes you
happier or not when you do. You have control over this,
even if you are not used to thinking this way. Try it,
and then practice. For example, try to not be so attached
to what you think is right or wrong. While there are
exceptions (traffic laws), most things in your life are
not life and death, so you don’t need to over-react.
Practice under-reaction to get the hang of non-attachment.
Again, this is not, not reacting (detachment). It is
channeling the reactions you have to frustrations through
your “programming,” which you are now consciously altering.
One popular version of this is what I call “The Five Year
Rule.” This states that if you are not going to remember
something in five years, don’t get so bothered by it now.
Put another way, ask yourself what you remember five years
ago from today. Most of us come up blank.
Drop perfectionism. “Things” are not perfect down here
on planet earth. Accept this and stop trying to make it
otherwise. I have what I call the “Rule of Two or Three.”
This rule states that for every two or three things you
attempt, it will take two or three tries to accomplish (to get
things the way you want it to turn out…). In other words,
only one in three times “things” will go your way the first time.
The world is imperfect. Roll with the punches.
Don’t take things personally. The world is not about
you. Think about what footprint you have on this planet.
With only a few rare exceptions, it’s very, very small.
When something happens in your life, is it aimed specifically
at you? It is much more likely you just happened to be in his or
her orbit. You got the brunt of something they did, but again,
it probably wasn’t about you, personally. A common example of
this is being cut off on the freeway. Did the other driver cut
you off, meaning you _________________ (fill in your name),
driving right next to or in back of them? Do they know you?
No. They were acting in their own best interest, possibly
selfishly, but definitely considering their needs more than yours.
To the other driver, you were probably not even a person; rather,
just a moving obstacle. Because we are in cars, we often
feel insulated from other humans driving in other big moving
insulators. Our personal psychology is to think we are not
involved with others so much because our personal space is
enclosed, and if we offend them, so what. Most of us think
we will never encounter that driver again, so our driving
behaviors are inconsequential.

-Dr. Griggs

http://www.psychologyproductsandservices.com/page17.html
http://www.drgriggs.org

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